Read the following fragment of a story and identify what can be improved considering:
1) Sentence structure/sentence flow
2) Plot arc (5-point)
3) Movement from ordinary to extraordinary.
iQuixote
…Donald did not like reality so much that is was not real enough to him. The grass was not green enough, the breeze not breezy enough, the trees not treeish or barkish or woodish enough. His friends were not friendly enough, his teachers did not teach enough, and his house did not feel like home. His parents did not parent enough, either, they were never home. But his nanny was the most real thing he knew, because she was exactly what she was: a nanny. But even she had her moments of less-than-nanny-ness. Other than his nanny, Hogwarts and romantically inclined vampires began to feel the most real, because at least they seemed to care about what was actually around them. But other books weren’t even bookish enough because they mostly sat on shelves because no one he knew read them or showed him how to read them.
One day, Donald’s world changed. After this day, everything was made new. The sun actually shone, he had real parents, he went on adventures, he had never felt more alive. His life began to be like a story finally. He was on Team Edward, he was Captain of the Quidditch team, he was a wizard and a vampire and a real human being all in one. This was a big moment in Donald’s life.
It was all because of an iPhone app which Steve Jobs had apparently put the finishing touches to it on his deathbed, he wrote in his will to have it kept utterly secret. But, according to Donald’s friend, the app was leaked by a close programmer-confidante of Jobs’, and now a select few held knowledge of how to obtain it. It was called… iQuixote. It was specifically designed to make reality more real. One simple download, one quick swipe, one quick upgrade to an infrared-gamma-ray-superconducting-four-dimensional iPhone camera, and all reality could be filtered, modified, and amplified for those suffering from Donald’s condition. Donald downloaded this, and slowly things began to change…
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